Beowulf is an Anglo-Saxon epic read and enjoyed (if by enjoyed you mean detest with a fiery, burning passion - wait a second. . .) by students everywhere. It was once thought that it was one of the only surviving pieces of Anglo-Saxon literature (apparently the Anglo-Saxons liked their literature as much as we do). However, to our dismay, a new manuscript has been excavated, about Beowulfs brother, and his adventures in a land known to them as: The Cherry Hill Mall
Meowulf: Translated from older varsity cheerleader by Glarin Tronfaar
Yo! We have heard of the glory of the Sears-Roebucks in the old mean solar days (10 years ago), and poufs of enterprise - how noble entrepreneurs showed gravid feminism!
Often Guli Cainfort seized g[reat f]ood court benches, from many a freshmen, from many a gang; he terrified checkout ladies, even though first he was found broke, penniless. He plundered obtain bags, terrified rent-a-cops. He was a good king!
Guli at that placefore departed, at the appointe[d time], still [with a] high [credit limit], to the final shopping place. His lamb mall-rats carried his body to the malls exit, as he had assigned, and let him drift onward in the parking lot, much like he had came.
[skipping ccc Christmas seasons, as Anglo-Saxon poetry often does, Hignar is now king of all Cherryland, and is very old and very broke]
Hignar was given 10-50% savings in macys, such sky miles in Sam diplomacy that the [lackies] at his school eagerly served him.
It came into his mind that he would skeletal system a great non-alcoh[lic]everage hall (people stop hanging a[round]all day at the mall when theyre old enough to go some place more exciting.) for his homitatus, which the sons of tools would hear of forever and ever. It was to be named Caernot.
buddy, yoo go over a lot of TV and are very impressionable. please, whatever you do, do not go outside. its too much for you to handle. its dangerous. arent there bears outside?
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